You can listen to this episode here: Listen to Episode 34: Summer Isn't For Doing More
The longest day of the year has arrived, bringing with it a flood of social expectations, concerts, and the pressure to "make the most" of the season. But what if your inner experience feels cramped rather than expansive? In this episode, Blaze dismantles the cultural narrative that summer is about doing more, achieving more, and proving your worth through activity.
She guides you through the vital shift from the planning energy of spring to the sustaining energy of summer. Instead of frantically planting new seeds, you are invited to tend to the garden you've already started, weed out what drains you, and trust that the momentum you built earlier is enough to carry you forward. This is a permission slip to stop performing your summer and start simply experiencing it.
🌿 In this episode we explore:
- Why the "summer script" of doing it all often leads to overwhelm rather than joy.
- The critical shift from spring planning to summer sustaining and tending.
- How to recognize when you are trying to "optimize" your joy instead of just feeling it.
- Practical ways to set boundaries that protect your energy without cutting you off from loved ones.
- The power of acknowledging what is already working in your life (routines, the garden, sleep) rather than adding more.
- How to release the need to "perform" your summer or document every memory for social media.
- Strategies for navigating the social explosion of summer while honoring your natural capacity and rhythm.
- Why trusting the momentum you've already created is the key to a peaceful season.
Hello and welcome back. We have just passed through the summer solstice and it's the longest day in the shortest night in the northern hemisphere. It is full of energy and possibility and opportunity.
There are concerts and live things happening all the time: outside gatherings, picnics, family stuff, Fourth of July will be coming up soon, Memorial Day just happened. It's an explosively social time of the year.
And my kid is just finishing her last week of school. She's back now and we're gonna be hanging out pretty much constantly for the whole rest of the summer. As you might have expected, I have feelings about this.
Most of them are really good, but there's also this part of me. It's so interesting. Like there's the parent part of me and then there's like the young me Me and
There's the parent part that's like so happy to connect with her and do a lot of things and spend all this time. And there's like this vestige of myself from when I was a teenager that's like, I just want to have fun this summer and do my own thing.
When do I get to do what I want? All by myself and leave me alone. So I have these two conflicting inner experiences. There's the part of me that just wants to connect with my husband and go on an adventure.
What kind of adventures do I want to have and how much coordination do I have to do to be able to have an adult-only vacation or a family one? And what are the dynamics and who's taking care of the house and the pets and all of those things and the garden?
Many, many wheels are spinning. So that's just me talking about off the top of my head what's going on in my life.
I know you're dealing with so many of the same things. So while society is saying,
Take advantage of everything. Like this is your time. Do more. Go out there.
Do it all, have it all, be it all. Our inner experience of it is often that having the opportunity for all of this expansion and having all of that energy out there...
It doesn't feel as expansive as maybe we had expected it to be. It might not feel even as welcoming or delightful or good as we kind of have been told it should be or we think that it ought to be.
And our personal experience of it might be to feel a little bit overwhelmed or cramped or like there's just too much demand. And if that's where you're at this week, I want to just reach out and hug you through these radio waves because I feel that too.
I have come to find that this time of year is not asking of us what society tells us it's supposed to be doing.
I feel like I've gotten the message my whole life that the summer is about, like...
Don't miss out. It's about going and doing all the things so that you can tell everyone about it and be a part of it all so that you can build these memories. Like that's been a huge one is:
What did you do in summer vacation? And everyone reports back to each other in the fall. So we all have this like unspoken script that we all are trying to fulfill, even into our late adulthood, trying to make sure that we're not the one who doesn't have a story to tell about our summer and what we did. And we want to make sure it's good.
We want it to be good enough to impress people. We want to make sure that we've justified everything that we did or didn't do. And I think that one's so subtle, but it's definitely there.
I have noticed over the years that not only in the summer but particularly in the summer when there's so much energy and expectation,
I feel like I need to justify every yes or no, every boundary I put up, and everything that I did or didn't do.
Because I feel like there's going to be a book report at the end or something where I have to do a synopsis of why this got accomplished, but that didn't. Why did I choose to put my energy in this direction and not that one? How well did everything thrive? Did I do great? Did I not do great?
And it just adds, it's like throwing a big, wet blanket on what could have been a really open and expansive and fun space of enjoying all this abundant energy, of enjoying all of this abundant food and light and...
just warmth that I don't have to pay for, right? But also now I have to pay for cooling.
It's so funny how adulthood just creeps up on you and suddenly you have a judgement about everything that's going on. So I want to talk about that this week and help us set our expectation for what actually is going on at this time of year.
So firstly, I want to say we're just switching. We're switching from springtime energy, which is all about building up what we want to do and setting the scenery and figuring out what the set is for your summer adventure.
So for me, my spring was all about how am I going to set up having a garden. I wanted to create something new, and I wanted to create a new routine that allows me to get up in the morning, go out, put my feet in the dirt, put my hands in the dirt.
See something that I physically am tending, that I'm helping to grow, and seeing reflected back to me that made a difference.
So my springtime was a lot of planning and logistics and orders and you know the actual work of lugging dirt and shoveling things and going to the plant place and transplanting stuff. All of that has happened already at this point.
For many of you, I want you to look back and think about what the things were that you already have accomplished this year because usually we're told to wait and assess all of that at the end of the year.
What have we done and what's taking root? If you think of your life like this garden...
And I'm happy to think of it that way because it makes a lot of sense. You put a lot of energy into getting things started and you plant a bunch of seeds and you had to make some decisions about that earlier on. You're not making those decisions right now because that window kind of has already passed.
And I'm not saying that to say like, "Oh no, you've already missed the boat on life if you haven't come up with plans yet." That's not what I'm saying. But I am saying, "Look at what you've already planned and look at what's already happening in your life."
Because when you do that, for me, there's this sense of peace and like, "Oh, it's okay," because I've already started some things.
I've already made the plans. I know what kind of gatherings I'm going to have with my friends, like we do a lot of role playing and board game playing.
And I know where that's going. And I've set up some touch points where I know we'll be getting together. So it's already taken care of and that helps me relax a lot and go, okay, I don't have to keep coordinating things. I've already done that work. Oh, thank God.
When it comes to business plans and ideas like that, I look at that and go, "Wow, I've done a great deal of thinking about where things are going and planning and coordinating, and all of that legwork has already been accomplished."
What actually is required of me right now in this moment is to just tend to the things that are already existing.
What if Summer is actually about being with what's already there and tending to the roots of your life? Not about having to create something new or whip it up out of nowhere.
But recognizing where those new experiences and new growth is and either choosing to help magnify it and nourish it and give it some fertilizer and water and sunlight and all of that and pay attention to it and love it.
Or it's about weeding and about starting to pull some things out that maybe you're not as interested in.
When I look at summer in that way and go, "Oh, okay, now this is the time where I need to just be with it and not have to spend all of my energy trying to figure it out."
That gives me such a sense of relief and I'm hoping that it does for you as well.
Because when I hear the message, just turning on the TV, listening to the radio of, "This is happening, that's happening, this is happening, oh my God, go here and do this. Don't forget, don't miss that concert. Oh my gosh, there's a gathering."
Guess what? There's also gonna be like a high school reunion and all these other things.
It's very easy for me to get whipped up and feel like, "Oh, jeez, I have to make a lot of decisions." And that makes me tired already.
You know, it was easier a few months ago. I didn't mind making those decisions. I had, interestingly, like a lot more anger within me in the spring months that made it easy to put up some boundaries and say yes or no to some of these things.
So we can kind of call on that energy and echo back and go wait, what did I decide that I didn't want to do?
And this is actually a really good time where you can still capture that energy. We haven't fully left that spring energy of boundaries.
Tap into that and decide where you want to go this summer because as we get into it and the days get even hotter and heavier and humid and just everything is happening around us,
You're gonna find, if you're, I guess, human, that our energy, weirdly enough, is diminishing in the summer.
We're told that it's endlessly expansive, but here's the truth, right? We just had the longest day and the shortest night. Well, guess what that means from here on out through the fall?
We're getting less and less light. We're not going to notice it right away. We're still getting more and more heat. Like everything kind of takes a little bit of a backlog, right, to catch up.
But if you're in rhythm with that, and you are, your body feels it, you know it. You want to kind of flow with that and recognize that we're not gaining more energy now. Now we're coasting.
And we're going to want to be gathering it as we go through the summer.
I think that one of the reasons beyond just wanting to save on air conditioning, that school's shut down for summers, is that we recognize that this is a time of nourishment and of gathering.
It's attending things. And we want to give ourselves the space to make that happen, to allow that to happen, and to relax into it.
Not all of the year has to be about producing something and not all of the year has to be about planning something.
Not all of the year needs to be about gathering it all together. I like that there is a flow to everything.
And I find when I recognize either within my body or with my thoughts or with my emotions, what's going on.
It's like everything lights up and I have this moment of relaxation. It's like excited relaxation. Like, ah, there it is. There's the spark. I understand something.
And it lets me just release whatever it is that wanted to control everything about it.
So here's what I want to offer this week, is to ask you what's going on in your life and what would it be like if whatever is happening for you is enough?
What would it feel like if you didn't feel compelled to have to add more in order for it to be good?
And this has been profound for me, is to recognize when I have a judgment about my life not being good enough.
That's usually when I start to desperately try to fill my time and my space and buy more stuff and do more things rather than just appreciating what's already happening or going well.
So, what's going on? Have you asked yourself that lately? And how good does it feel to acknowledge some of the things that are going really well for you?
So I'm going to share some of mine because I find it's more helpful to hear what it's like for someone else doing this, then to just try to figure it all out by yourself.
So if I ask what's going really well, I would say, "I'm thrilled that while I have my daughter for the whole summer, I don't actually have to get up as early because the camps that we do have don't start yet. And when they do, they don't even have me dropping her off until nine."
Here's a truth for me, is that my natural wanting to wake up...
It tends to want to be around 7 to 7.30, but during the school year, that's not really possible. So we get up way earlier than that. So what's really working for me that I can acknowledge is I get like this luscious ability to sleep in slightly more and stay up slightly later, which is my more natural rhythm.
Oh, thank God. Thank God. I love it. Something else that's working for me is starting to build the routine of watching funny shows on Thursday nights with our family and just ending the day laughing. I love it. It's a great routine. I'm gonna keep it forever. That's really working.
I don't need to add anything. I mean, I could add more, that's nice, but I don't need to because that's lovely and I don't want to change it.
The garden is doing very well. I love my garden. My daughter is loving her garden.
We have had an amazing time just figuring it out, taking care of it, figuring out where we're going to, when we're going to water, what weeds need to get pulled.
Enjoying the strawberries as they ripen on a daily basis and just plucking them and appreciating them.
Eating a warm strawberry that's been in the sun. It's so much better than a cold strawberry that's been in storage. It's just...
These things are really working in my life. Things that are working, I am enjoying longer walks, but I'm putting them earlier in the day because it gets really hot and I'm going again late in the evening again to just mostly avoid the sweltering heat.
I love it, that's working nicely. And something that I'm gonna sprinkle in that's available is that if I go early and I happen to wake up and I'm able to get to the beach before eight when it opens,
There's like this beautiful hour where most people haven't arrived yet where I can walk and put my feet in the water.
And then just leave before the beach becomes like this ocean of people and loudness and radios and stuff.
And that's really working for me too, and I'm excited that I get to share that with my daughter this year and share with her what I like about the beach, which isn't sitting at the beach. It's really just that quiet moment when it's less people-y and I get to have my senses just absorbing all of that luscious summerness.
So I'm hearing birds and I'm feeling the sand and feeling the dirt and the coldness of the water and then there's that moment where your feet just kind of adjust to the temperature and then even cleaning my feet off and having to get my shoes back on and drive home. I kind of love it.
So those things are really working for me and they make me feel like I love and appreciate my life.
And I don't feel like I'm missing anything. And I think it's really nice to just think about that on a regular basis and I do try to think about it daily, if I'm honest, is that I'm so appreciative that I have such a comfortable, wonderful bed. I love my sheets in the summer.
I love my air conditioning, it's fabulous, and I'm excited that I can sleep in.
These are the simple things in life and I don't need it to be too much more complicated than that.
And I want to then offer to you, well, what's working well for you?
What do you love about your life? Is there a routine that's working really well right now that you just want to sustain as you move through the summer and what are some of the anchor points that are going to help you feel regulated and safe and cozy and happy as the energy builds and expectations build and just stuff is going on?
So this is a good time to look ahead and to recognize that it's very easy to get depleted when there's so much going on, it's important to become familiar with ways to set boundaries that don't cut you off from relationships, that don't cut you off from things that you want to participate in, but that do hold your energy well.
So for me, I am willing to say yes to two or three gatherings of friendships or kids coming over our house or going out and doing something in any given week.
And I know that if I did more than three days, I start to become really grouchy and pissed off. And I'm just not fun to be around and I'm not having fun with anyone anymore. So I've learned to say,
"It's okay if you want to do that, but I'm only down for three." I find I can live with that, and I don't have any regrets. I would never look at it and be like, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I missed out on like... five gatherings this week." I'd be like, "Oh, thank God I didn't go to five gatherings this week!" So.
There is a truth to your own rhythm. It's okay to embrace that. You do not need to be like everyone else. And if you're a person who wants to go out for seven gatherings a week,
Good for you. Have a great time. Do it! Enjoy it and be yourself. Find what really nourishes you.
And I think that's what I'm trying to get at is there is a level of activity, connection, noise, all of that, that each person finds very nourishing and sustainable. And I think the summer is about sustaining. It's about giving things time to grow.
It's about allowing yourself to see what unfolds. So on that front, I would say projects that I'm allowing to see how they unfold is earlier this year I made a commitment starting in like mid-May that I'd be going on a walk every morning as early as possible. I'd follow it up with a qigong routine and give myself 20 to 40 minutes for that.
And I started out pretty small, where I was like, you know, it's a success if you get five to 10 minutes in.
Even if it's not a perfect routine, you're just building the habit. And then following that, I wanted to play viola for five, ten minutes.
And I want to build up to doing more, but I just want to set the scene so that it has a chance to take root.
I know that setting any kind of routine or change takes a lot of time.
And there's a lot of life that steam rolls it. So what I'm doing right now this summer is seeing how it sustains and what it feels like and what's actually possible.
So I'm finding that sometimes it's really easy to just get up and go for the walk and do all these things and other times it's hard.
I'm finding where I need to put more energy in and where I gain energy from that routine. And I have to say that learning what's nourishing about it and finding the better timing and figuring out where it needs adjustment is part of that process.
So while my goal is to always do it early so that I feel like I've done the important things for myself without forgetting about them. Sometimes it's not possible. Sometimes it has to be an afternoon or it gets put off by a day or things get broken up where I miss one or all of those practices.
For me then, it's about, well, how do I get right back into it and let it still become the routine that I want that will hopefully sustain me through the winter?
I'm gonna find out, I'm gonna see. So that's something that I'm wanting to nourish and spend my time with throughout the summer, and I definitely will let you know how it's going because stuff like that...
You always have an idea of what you want to do and then the reality of it always surprises you and gives you something in addition to what you had set out to discover. Yeah, so I guess that's part of it too.
Summer is for discovery and for figuring out some new things about yourself and about life. Mmm. So, my friends.
What I would like to let you know before I go is that summer is about being seen, right? Like we're all out there, we're with each other.
Everybody's energy is pushing up against everything, but it doesn't mean that you have to be performing.
I guess that's what this whole episode really has been about is saying that you showing up as you doing what you do isn't a performance and it doesn't have to be and I think that's when we get the most depleted and tired is when we feel like we need to explain ourselves or put on energy that isn't there to dress it up in some way.
So what if we look at this opportunity that we have this summer for just being who we are and experiencing who we are, being with what actually is?
Being with the things that we've already set into motion, and see what sticks and see what's sustainable.
And practice a summer that isn't about, I don't know, showing off to other people or proving to anyone what we did or didn't do.
I'm gonna think about that because that sounds pretty great to me and I don't want to have to prove anything to anybody about my life at this point.
But I know that it's in there, we always want to do it.
So my friends, what I want to leave you with this week is to remember that the summer is not about building things up so much as it is about sustaining.
And that you don't need to upgrade yourself the season or make the season better and you don't need to optimize your joy or optimize your availability.
Like you don't have to make the summer better, you just have to experience it and you're allowed to just experience it.
So pace yourself, notice when you're extending beyond your capacity, and recognize that not every single moment needs to be captured.
It doesn't necessarily need to be shared far and wide. It doesn't need...
This is interesting. You don't even need to build a memory from everything that happens in order for it to be a valid experience.
I think sometimes with social media, we have this idea that it only counts if we've shared it with someone else, but what if this year you have this little background thought that I just planted, which is:
What if I don't need to share this at all and it still existed and it was important in that moment? And I'm even allowed to forget it. It's fine. It's still had its impact and made my life better whether I remember it or not.
Mmm, wow, I love it. That feels so nourishing.
And so my dears, I want you to just recognize that the light is here. We get to enjoy it.
We don't have to accelerate and rush through the summer. What if this year we allowed ourselves to just be with the pace that's happening, allow the inertia to carry us, but not expend our own effort to get wherever it is that we're going because we can trust that we've already put so much effort in and the world and all of that momentum is already carrying us forward. That feels so excellent.
I will see you next week when we're going to discuss how to protect your time during socially busy seasons so that it becomes a little bit easier to just have that space protect that energy and not constantly feel like you're pushing all the time or trying to make things happen.
Have an excellent week and I will see you then.
Related Episodes
Series: Navigating the Shift from Winter to Summer Energy As we move deeper into the season, the energy shifts from the rest of winter to the rising momentum of summer. These episodes help you understand how to channel that energy without burning out or losing yourself in the process.
- Ep 33: Fun Isn't Frivolous: Reclaiming Joy for Over-Responsible Women – Why joy is a necessity, not a reward, and how to stop earning your happiness.
- Ep 30: When Your Energy Suddenly Surges (Late Spring Energy Explained) – Understanding the intensity of late spring and how to ride the wave without crashing.
- Ep 23: How to Use Spring Energy Without Burning Out – Practical strategies for activating your energy without accelerating into exhaustion.
- Ep 10: Wintering — The Power of Rest and Retreat – A grounding look at why rest is essential before you can truly enjoy the return of energy.
🌿 Want help building rhythms that work with your energy instead of fighting it?
The Living in Rhythm Starter Kit offers grounded tools for nervous system support, emotional regulation, burnout recovery, and understanding seasonal energy shifts more sustainably.
🌿 Looking for a deeper, live experience this season?
I'll be hosting a Summer Solstice gathering on June 24th — a space to slow down, reflect, and work with this energy in real time. We'll be exploring how to hold the buildup of summer energy, set boundaries, and move through the season without getting run over by the chaos.
You can learn more and save your spot here.
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