Want to listen along? Listen to Ep12: When You Don't Want Anything Yet

If January feels quiet, unmotivated, or strangely empty of desire, this episode offers reassurance that nothing has gone wrong. After months of high demand, many of us enter the new year in recovery mode... needing rest, regulation, and space more than ambition.

In this episode, Blaze explores January as a liminal season between demands: a time when energy is rebuilding and clarity hasn’t arrived yet. Instead of forcing resolutions or pushing yourself to figure out the year ahead, this conversation invites you to listen to your body, honor your capacity, and allow genuine dreaming to emerge naturally.

This episode is for anyone feeling pressure to want something they don’t yet feel, and for those learning to trust that rest and recovery are meaningful, necessary phases of life.

You’ll hear:

• Why it’s normal not to feel motivated or ambitious in January

• How recovery and capacity-building create future momentum

• What it means to listen to your body for timing and readiness

• Why forced goals often feel hollow — and what to do instead

• Permission to rest, dream softly, and let desire arise naturally
  
  

✨ Looking for a grounded way to support yourself right now?
The Emotional Alignment Starter Kit offers gentle practices to help you calm overwhelm, reconnect with your nervous system, and listen to what you actually need.

Hello friends! This week I want to talk about how to be in January, right where it is, without trying to force it to be a more productive time of year.

To recognize it as this stretch between really high demand and upcoming demand that's kind of fashioned itself as this: Repurpose yourself into something new kind of time.

Where most of us aren't really feeling that way. So what if we look at January as this time for soulful visioning, right? To be able to dream up what you might desire.

And talk about the reality that in January, you might not really have a whole lot that you want for the upcoming year ahead. You might have a lot of things that you want that are more related to recovery. And if that's you, I'm right here for it and I'm right here with you.

And let's talk about it. So I find January is this season for me where I've been waiting for months and months to finally have quiet and permission to just do less.

I've wanted it for so long because despite having that desire creeping up, throughout November and December, right, where it starts getting dark and it's like getting colder.

There's so much demand there and there's so much entertaining and things that are happening that I kind of overdo capacity, do more than maybe my body or physiology wants to do more than my mental load can do.

But somehow I manage and I keep going and most of us do. And then we hit January and we're all exhausted and then the pressure valve comes off, right? So the holidays happen. We got past New Year's Eve.

We did all the celebrating and now we're kind of back into our routines, things have slowed down.

And we're left in this limbo where we're not sure what we're supposed to do or what's required of us or if we're supposed to want something.

I want to say that you don't need to want anything right now and that's normal and it's okay.

If you have that question, like, "Why don't I want anything yet?" Or "Why do I not know what I want to do?" Or "How come when I came up with a resolution, it felt kind of hollow?"

like a forced resolution where you come up with something on paper that sounds really great and you think it kind of matches up with who you are in your life but you kind of don't feel anything about it.

So you're like, "Wow, I don't feel motivated. I don't feel inspired. I don't feel excited to work on it, but I feel kind of resigned maybe, but not even really, I'm kind of blank, like I don't even have the energy to put into it."

I think, personally, and maybe this is a revolutionary idea, January might not be the time if you're in the dead of winter and you've just recovered from all of this stuff.

Maybe now is not a pushing time. Maybe now is a resting time.

And, if like me, the bulk of your actual desires in January, center around self-regulation, and figuring out how to build up capacity and figuring out how the heck you're going to feel rested enough to even want anything,

then I think that you're right on time and this is exactly what's needed and that if we look at our lives in this time as the perfect space to work on that...

I don't even want to say work on that. That feels like, you know what? None of us want more work to do. That's not what it's about.

It's about recognizing a need and allowing space for it to happen. So rather than piling on extra demands or trying to optimize your rest, oh my gosh, I'm so anti-optimizing anything right now, I'm just for allowing. Like what about passively allowing ourselves to have some rest?

To have some space in our schedule to not automatically fill up every spare moment with stuff and people and places and things and shopping and cleaning and doing all of this stuff.

All of that, of course, exists. It's always going to exist. But there are times in life and in cycles of life that require kind of a mental shutoff and an emotional release valve in order to be able to return to that stuff and accomplish it effectively.

I have noticed in this month, I do have a lot that I want to do. My desires are actually very much centered around decluttering and getting stuff out of the way.

I function so well when there's clear spaces and I feel like I could spread out and maybe start a sewing project or I could spread out and start a big drawing.

Maybe like no one's around so like if I put out painting stuff like it's not gonna get knocked over by a cat because I closed the door and it would be okay.

All of these exciting things. Those are the dreams that I have in January and they're not about massive accomplishment. They're literally about just having enough clear space that that feels possible.

So even now, when I look at my whole house and go a deep clean, like actually going through closets and pulling everything out and putting it away, does that feel possible or nourishing or does that feel like just another big thing to do?

And I've learned how to really be with my body and notice what happens when I think these thoughts are start these plans. And it's what I teach people to do as well as go, okay, when you think about that,

Does it make you clench up? Does it make you excited? Does it relax you? Does it give you that glimmer in your eye? Do you feel suddenly relieved?

If so, like if you're relieved, move towards it, but if it makes you feel like you want to just hide under a rock,

It's told you everything you need to know, like your body is letting you know that that is not the proper timing for you or maybe the right order for you to do something in.

So when you learn how to be slowing down, be with your body a little bit more, you get clearer and clearer feedback the more you get used to doing this. And I really enjoy teaching these principles and working with actual bodies and actual emotions in real time because it's so...

It's so simple, it's not easy because most of us haven't been taught it, but it's so simple and beautiful. And when you start to understand it for yourself in the way that your body particularly speaks and in the way your mind particularly works,

Suddenly things start making sense and you're like, "Oh, of course I'm not going to ask that of myself right now. That's going to be totally appropriate in a few weeks or, you know, yesterday there's a timing for it that works."

And this is the timing that works for me. Hmm. When we're allowed to settle in and take the time to dream about what feels really good right now.

There's one, an automatic physical unburdening that happens. Like you're able to release your shoulder tension, you're able to settle into a chair and go, "Oh, thank goodness, finally. Okay, here I am."

That's where I want to be. And you're able to, after you have that feeling, trust yourself a little bit more. For me, when I dream into January and go like, "Okay, well, where do I want to go from here?"

I have learned that I don't want to look very far ahead. Sometimes maybe...

I'll poke and put my head high up enough, but I can look out to June, July.

and go, "Okay, what might I want to be doing then?" But I'll be honest with you, when I do that,

most of what I notice is still me on alert. The same way it was back in November and December, which is going,

What are the actual activities and events upcoming that I already know about that are happening throughout the year all the way through, you know, the summer? And I'm mostly doing that so that I can protect myself from what that demand might be.

So that's the honest truth of where my system's at in January, and it might be where you're at too. Like if you look ahead at the year and you just go, "Oh my God, all these things are happening. How am I going to coordinate it? What's going to happen?"

You might also be in overwhelming stress mode, and that is not a personal failing. This is just a result of kind of modifying yourself and your expectations for a system that isn't supporting you.

Right? So if you look at all the things that are upcoming, you're like, "Oh my God, how am I going to manage that?" And I need to just plan ahead so that it becomes easier for myself.

We do that and we try to strategize around it when we feel like all of these demands are demanding of us and that we don't have a structure in place that's going to help support us and we feel like we don't have a system that's taken care of any of that burden yet.

And so, what I do for myself now is take the time now when it's actually physically quieter, when demand is a lot less.

And I know in the US, for most of us, January, February, and March, there's not a whole ton of holidays, big gatherings, like stuff that's just structurally there in the calendar, which means that for most of us things are a little bit more predictable.

When we have that, it's a good time for just riding that routine and allowing ourselves to power down. And that might look different for everybody.

For me, it's recognizing like I just want to input very little. I have actually hit a point where I don't even want to consume more TV shows right now.

I've taken months now to watch the final season of "Poldark" and I was so into it, I was binging at hardcore and then I just hit this moment where I'm like, "I can't even take in another episode."

Even though I love it and it's fun. I'm just too tired for that. I don't want to think about it. I can't take in any more input.

And I am realizing simultaneously, I don't have a lot that I can output right now either because I haven't processed everything that's gone in.

So this is for me, this period of going, "Okay, it's fine if I want to sit and just look out a window for a while and observe nature."

If I want to go for a walk because it doesn't demand much of me and I can just wander around, that's great, but I'm not doing it with any illusion in my mind that it's for my physical health and fitness and well-being. For me, it's completely about what would take the least mental and emotional effort right now that makes me feel physically pretty okay.

And if it's taking a nap, great. If it's just sitting and looking out a window, fine. If it's playing with the cat, excellent snuggling on the couch with my daughter and maybe watching shows but not really paying attention, that's fine too.

That's about where I'm at. And I'm looking at that not as wasted time. And I think that's the big transition for me from where I was earlier in life. Now I look at that and go, "Oh my God."

This is what I need and its capacity building. This is not optional.

It's not something that I'm doing that I should regret or feel bad about. I don't need to feel like I need to be productive 100% of the time all year round every week.

That's not how my life works and I don't think it's how most of our lives work. There are cycles and they're important.

And when you find yourself in a cycle where you need to complete, I don't know, energetic processing, emotional processing, physical, whatever. You need to give yourself that space and time without the judgment.

How much do you need? Can it vary from person to person? And it's probably gonna vary based on how much capacity you've hit.

For me, it's really high right now, but I also know through experience, if I can give myself a week or two or even a month where it's okay to completely disengage a lot of the time to not be planning ahead to only hit what's actually necessary,

That I regain my ability to think and want to do things and come up with new ideas and engage in new things so much faster and have much better success with it. So I'm okay with this now.

I used to fight at tooth and nail. I would feel so bad like, "Oh, why can't I be constantly producing? Why am I not always, I don't know, I guess I equated being busy with success?" And now I'm realizing that's a false equivalency. It's not necessarily true.

Being busy does not mean I'm successful, it just means I'm busy and sometimes that means I'm being depleted. There are other times where I'm busy and it's actually really fulfilling and it's giving me energy and it's wonderful.

So being able to inhabit my own experience and not lie to myself about it anymore and be much clearer about who I am and what I'm doing and how it relates to the rest of my life. All of these things.

I feel wonderful, honestly, it's such a relief. And I wish that I had had this earlier in life. And maybe it's just something that we have to live through to be able to understand our own patterns better and become fluent with them and to lose some of the judgment.

I'm definitely feeling like most of us lose some of that judgment as we get older.

And we realize that we can't expect ourselves to produce things constantly.

And then as we get even older, we go like, well, not only can we not expect ourselves to produce things constantly, but there actually are rhythms and cycles. And now you've lived enough of them that you can kind of sense what they are and feel into what they are.

My whole reason for being is helping people to really embrace these cycles and to recognize their own patterns and be able to exist in them, thriving, not judging themselves, not feeling bad about it, not missing whole sections of their own cycles to just fulfill this concept that we have of what we're supposed to be doing.

I'm tired of that and I don't enjoy seeing it when I see how much it hurts other people.

It sucks. So I love encouraging my friends to do what they enjoy.

To give up what's causing harm, to show up for what's necessary and the things that they need in their life, but also to support them and breaking down the parts that are harming them and to make them easier and to create spaces for them where they can really inhabit who they are.

And thrive in that and be that person without added pain, trying to be someone else or trying to fulfill a role that doesn't vibe with who they are.

I guess that's it. Like, man, it's really nice to hit a point in life where I'm not trying to fit a vibe, but it's not me. I just want to be me. I can't...

be someone else. So I might as well find where being me is great and is welcomed more.

And find the people who need that energy or at least enjoy being around that energy and find the people who fulfill pieces that I don't provide. Like I just love how different everybody is and how different all of my friendships are and I need them all and they all help me thrive.

I'm looking at January as this opportunity to connect with all of my friends in different ways.

And to really appreciate one, like hearing about everybody's journeys and what they've been through over the last year or two and what they're building in their lives. I love that. But also to just enjoy who they are when we're together and how everybody's different. And there's something lovely about sharing time and space with lots of different people. I really like that. Yes.

So thinking about January, thinking about winter and this limbo period where we're between demands, hopefully.

What if you used it as this opportunity to recalibrate and power yourself back up, not by necessarily doing more things, but maybe doing the right things for you?

And maybe that's taking more naps or getting more rest.

Maybe it's saying yes to reading trashy romance novels and not...

Maybe not going out to the movies or maybe it is going out to the movies. You're just finding the thing that nourishes you.

Finding a hobby or something that fills you back up and doesn't take energy away and maybe just maybe opt out of the optimize everything culture.

Just for a little while, maybe just for this month. And not worry so much if you don't have a desire for more than that.

I love taking this time to, if I'm gonna optimize anything, like optimize my recovery. (laughs)

To say, what could I do that creates the conditions that makes me feel the most nourished and safe to relax and just do that?

Because I know that when the conditions around me are nourishing when they are conducive to rest and restoration and creativity that naturally so much creativity and energy arises that I don't even have to try.

And I think that's what I want for other people too, is to not have to try for a creative energy or try to come up with something, but to have that desire naturally arise.

And sometimes we surprise ourselves with what that desire is when it's allowed to come up naturally rather than being forced.

So if you don't have any real desires yet, that's okay. It's actually perfect. I don't really have any either.

Like, I could not tell you, I'm trying right now for anything at all that I really want to improve this year, and my mind is literally a blank. It's like, "No, but just that's too hard. I can't do it." And I want to go to my standards.

This is one for you as well. Do you go back to your standards where people are like, "Oh, what are you hoping to do this year?" And I can't come up with anything genuinely. So I default back to what maybe I've done in the past. So I'll be like, "Oh, I want to read 24 books. I want to walk every day and I want to play the viola."

And I can say them, but they come out like sound bites and they're not genuine right now. And it's not even that I don't want those things. Like I like all of that stuff.

But I just don't have enough energy to make that a focused goal or a direction that I even want to move in.

And I wanted to call that out and share it because when it feels kind of funny and ridiculous, but it's honest.

And if you're also feeling like that, where you're like, oh, you know what? I've answered that way too. Like, people ask, what are you planning to do this year? And you just come up with a sound bite that's like something you've used in the past that's kind of relevant and it's kind of who you are already a little bit anyway but it doesn't feel connected.

What if that's just a sign that you're in that in between space and that's normal and it's a part of life and we're not supposed to always have something to express that we want to move towards? What if it's okay that sometimes we don't have ambition?

Ugh, yes. What if our dreaming, in January, isn't about ambition so much as like literally just following the threads of consciousness and emotion that already exist and letting it coalesce into something?

And allowing it enough time and space to breathe so that it becomes a genuine dream.

That's I think what I was getting at this whole entire episode. Thank you for bearing with me as I finally got there.

[laughs] Ah! May your dreaming this January be genuine.

Not rushed, not forced. Not something that you have to scramble for or justify.

If you have genuinely no desire and you don't want to go anywhere other than just being here,

I embrace that with you and I love that for you. Enjoy the break and enjoy what you have. If you don't have a lot of a break but you get it sometimes, enjoy that. That's where I'm at. We're all just getting by day by day.

But allow those moments to really be present for you and nourish you.

And I know that very soon we're all going to start feeling more motivated and more excited about things.

But I think that arises when we give ourselves that time to let it bubble up for real, from inside of us and not outside. Have yourself a wonderful week and I'm really looking forward to talking to you next time.